InsaneJournal

Touya's Pride, Part 2 of 11 (NC-17, fic)
Title: Touya's Pride (2 of 11)
Author: Ravenna C. Tan
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Pairing: Hikaru/Akira eventually
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Non-commercial fanfic.
Summary: Touya Akira loses a match and suffers a crisis of faith. Could wily old Kuwabara-sensei have the answer? Or is the answer to be found in Touya's eternal rival, Shindou Hikaru?
Warnings: This is not a fluffy Aki/Hika fic. There is what could be termed cross-gen/chan, and also psychological manipulation as part of the plot. The sexuality is graphic, but not gratuitous. Touya is 16. Spoilers for the series, also.
A/N: I posted an "intro" to Hikaru no Go for those who want to read the fic without watching or reading the whole series, on LJ and IJ.

Part One is here: LJ and IJ



Part Two

I lay awake that night, so ashamed and humiliated that I could not even sleep. Again and again I re-lived that moment when he told me to remove my clothes, the moment when my feet touched my buttocks, the moment of my resignation, looking down not at the board but at my penis, so strange and obscene-looking lying there plainly visible.

I finally fell into an exhausted sleep after several hours of tormenting myself with the images. Before I knew it, though, Kuwabara-sensei was back. The sun had barely risen. I forced myself to the door to answer it, dressed as I had been the night before, in pajamas and robe.

"Sensei, my apologies, I did not realize you would be arriving so early..."

He waved away my words and strolled into the house, making straight for the Go board. "I told you, Akira-kun, do away with your manners. That is a front, a false mask you put on for others. You. I am trying to show you the strength of the real you. Take off your clothes."

It was easier this time. After all, he'd seen what there was to see. And he didn't seem particularly interested in what I looked like, not since that first good look he'd taken last night. If I had worried that he was in any way insincere, or a pervert, well, he hadn't even tried to touch me, had he?

We played. I was sleepy, but that only seemed to narrow my focus to the board and only the board. We were playing a fairly even match, until he began to distract me.

"You are a lion among men in the Go world," he said as he held a stone in his fingers, contemplating where to place it. "But you are a lamb in all other ways. You have only played Go in the most sterile of circumstances. Even at your father's Go salon, the men there have always treated you like a little prince, never speaking roughly around you."

"Roughly?"

"So sheltered," he went on. "When men pass time together, their normal conversation is of their vices, women, and drugs, and so on. Things you know nothing of."

My cheeks burned again and he placed his stone.

"There is no shame in being young, Akira-kun. Someday you will not be so innocent. Have you ever dated a girl?"

"Dated?" I made myself promise that I would stop answering what he said with fragments repeated back, while I placed a stone in response. "No. There... hasn't really been time."

He chuckled. "There are some nice looking insei, you know? Some of them are even your age. I suppose you think your parents will arrange a wife for you, but truly, Akira-kun, you do not want to go to your marriage bed lacking in experience or technique."

Now my ears as well as my cheeks burned. I could feel the heat under my hair. He placed another stone.

I lost again, and my frustration must have been evident in my voice as I resigned.

He merely clucked his tongue. "I'll come back this evening, after dinner." He stood and stretched. "And Akira-kun, don't even bother getting dressed. I'll let myself in. When I arrive, I want you at the goban, ready to play."

"Yes, sensei."

After he was gone, I banged my fist against the goban, making the stones jump. Did he really mean it, don't get dressed at all? What would happen if I did, and then undressed before he arrived? But again he hadn't said what time in specific, damn him. Nor had I asked.

I went to bathe, which at least was a good excuse for being naked, but I could not spend too long in the bath. And I was still tired from having slept so little.

I lay on my futon, damp, letting the sheets dry me, which would have horrified my mother had she known.

Hm. Perhaps that was the point.

The other thing that would have shocked her, I suppose, was that I reached down and grasped my erection when it presented itself. No, sensei, I have never dated, and even if I had, it would have been fully chaperoned. My only experience of anything erotic at all has been reading the occasional adult manga left behind on the train, and this, thrusting into my right hand.

I rolled onto my stomach and licked my palm, then pushed against it until I came, sticky and wet, into my hand. Sleep came quickly after that, exhaustion claiming me.

* * *

As I had suspected, Kuwabara-sensei arrived early "after dinner." No doubt he had eaten and so considered his words the truth. It was perhaps four-thirty when he returned, and I had luckily awoken hungry some time before that, or he might have come upon me in my room, my hand crusted to me with dried come. Instead, I had just put my dishes aside when I heard the front door open, and the sound of him changing his shoes.

"Akira-kun?" he called, just as I slid into place in front of the goban, my heart beating wildly. "Where are y-- ah, here you are. Just where you belong. Good."

I thought for sure he would be able to see my heart trying to knock a hole in my chest, but he ignored it.

Again, we played. This time his chatter turned to Shindou.

"You could learn a lot from him," he said, as he described one of Shindou's matches to me. I had studied the kifu of it and already replayed part of it with Shindou himself, but I did not argue with my teacher. Hardly anyone knew that Shindou and I played often.

"That one is not so sheltered as you are," he said while we fought for control of the upper right corner. "He is like Kurata-kun, a man of the common people, unafraid to try anything, to live life to its fullest."

"Yes, sensei," I said automatically, as I read ahead in the battle we were about to have on the board.

I managed to silence him with a good move, and we exchanged fiercely for a while, deliberating each move. reading hundreds of possibilities ahead.

"Ah," he said, his voice almost tinged with sadness. "I forget how young you are sometimes." He had conceded the corner and the battle moved to the middle. "Were you nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, I might introduce you to some suitable companions for alleviating the inconvenience of your inexperience. At sixteen, though... there are some forms of trouble even a wily old man such as myself must avoid."

I looked up at him then, color rising on my cheeks again.

He shook his head. "You mustn't think badly of your sensei, Akira-kun. Have I laid a hand on you?"

"No, sensei."

"Do you trust me not to?"

I swallowed. "Yes, sensei."

"Good. I won't have you questioning my motives. Besides, Akira-kun, you are not my type. I prefer blondes!" And he laughed maniacally as he made a sort of crab-claw motion with his hands that I took to mean he meant large-busted blondes in particular.

His distraction backfired this time, and I won. I bowed to him at the end, hiding my glee.

"Very good, Akira-kun," he said grudgingly. "Now go and make some tea. When you come back, take your place there again, and we will play again."

I hurried to do as he said. I was becoming used to being naked in front of him--that was an advantage he would not be able to use now.

I made tea and filled the Thermos with it, and carried it on a tray with two cups back to where he was waiting.

I nearly tripped as I saw what sat there waiting for me.

It was small and innocuous, like a child's toy or something a dog would play with, bright purple and either plastic or rubber and therefore completely out of place on the tatami of the Go room. I wouldn't have even known what it was except for those adult manga I saw from time to time.

It was placed exactly in front of the Goban where I would be sitting. A slender, purple toy, shaped to go...

To go inside.

I set the tray down, my hands shaking, my hair hiding my face from my sensei.

"Go on, Akira-kun," he said, voice low. "I'm waiting."

I swallowed and moved toward my place. I could see the thing glistened as if coated in something wet. I reached out a finger and it felt slick to the touch.

I settled my feet on either side of it, but found my hands gripping the Goban.

"Go on," he urged, bemused.

"I can't." My voice came out a whisper.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked. "Pain? It won't hurt, Akira-kun, a little thing like that. And I've lubed it for you, too. It will slip right in."

I gritted my teeth. No, I wasn't afraid of pain. So what was I afraid of? I was afraid... that Kuwabara-sensei was once again making a fool of me? But that was what he came here to do. I knew this.

What was the harm, then? Only to my ego, my self-image, which was exactly my problem. Right?

Still. I had ideas in my head that this was wrong, somehow. But...

I lowered myself until the tip was just against my hole. It was cold and stiff, but softly tapered. My thighs shook from holding myself there, and I slid downward onto the purple spike, crying out in surprise as it went all the way in and suffused me with unexpected pleasure.

Oh no. And now a new humiliation piled atop the first, as my traitorous prick came to attention, too. I bit my lip to keep from crying out again and making it even worse.

"There you go," came sensei's voice. My eyes were shut, my hands still gripping the board. "Your body does what it will, Akira-kun. That is nothing to be ashamed of. In the course of a title match, seven games, played over the course of days and weeks, your body will have many needs, many cycles. Thirst. Hunger. Lust. You do not blush because you need a sip of tea in front of your opponent, do you?" When I said nothing he prodded me with his voice. "Do you, Akira-kun?"

"No, sensei."

"Then why now? Surely at your age you have gotten hungry while playing, and had to ignore your stomach until it was over? This is no different."

"Yes, sens--!" I gasped as I shifted position and the thing inside me moved.

"Place your first stone," he said, and the game once again had begun.

(continue to part three!)